Funeral
by Ayvinn
Summary: Orion Black's Funeral . Regulus and Sirius last meeting . One-shot .


Disclaimer : I don't own the Harry Potter's universe .

AN : Hi ! It's my first fanfiction in English , I hope that it wouldn't have a lot of mistakes because English isn't my native language which I want to practice like in trying to write an OS . Next , I really don't know if Orion Black died before or after Regulus , I just know that it was on the same year , so I just assume that it was before :)

I hope that you would like it ! Enjoy !

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I don't know what I should feel . I'm a complete mess . I think that I should be sad but I'm not . I'm not sad , and I really want to cry to make myself believe that I miss Father , and regret his death but I can't .

I hope that the drops of the rains will seem like my tears because I definitely won't cry today, not for him , not for Father , and certainly not for Orion of the most ancient and noble House of Black .

Today was very long and depressing . The atmosphere was heavy and oppressive , and the gray sky with its pouring rain doesn't help .

I laid a red button of rose on his corpse . I have never seen him this peaceful , surrounded by a white silk sheet . He was wearing a black tuxedo with his favorite emerald tie which he always loved to wear . The one with the black family blazon's embroidery on it . His eyes closed , his lips curved turning in a sweet smile that didn't fit him very well , mainly because he didn't smile so often and when he did , it's not that sort of smile that he gave . It was more like a vicious and cruel one . It was so peculiar to see him like that . Maybe I didn't realize yet that he is dead and that affected me so much . No , that's a lie . Indeed , I feel that the man in the oak-wooded coffin is a stranger for me .

I have no good memories with him to share or just remember when I think of him . Not a single one. Of course , there is a few moments when I smile when he is around but that stop here .Blinded by a stupid Pure-blood Mania that I was in too before . Orion Black was a mean and coldly person who never express his feelings , except his anger or his hatred , but didn't show too much and didn't want his family to reveal their emotions either. I remember being slapped or hit because I cried when Sirius left the house . The red mark left in my right cheek disappear only after many weeks . I had to hide it with some make-ups like Mother do sometimes . Yes , Orion wasn't sweet to anyone . Despite his short-temperament and his aggressiveness toward everyone , Mother cried when he was buried . I have never seen her such desperate . Or otherwise , she was a really good actress . I wondered if it what she really feels or if it was just another sort of courtesy during a funeral that she would follow around the other family members who didn't arrest whispering " My condolences for you" or " sorry for your loss" like they even for a second , cared for us . Even during that event , no , in particularly at this event , we must all wear our mask .

And more or less an hour after the burial , everyone was gone back to their daily life . Yes , no one cared about Orion Black's funeral ( except Mother , maybe) . Luckily . I can breathe again but I wouldn't go home , not now . It would still be strange , so I guess , I will just stay in the cemetery , in front of Father's gravestone where I can read in golden letters , " Orion Black , 1929-1979 beloved husband , father and friend" and below this inscription our family motto " Toujours pur" .

Moreover , I don't see Sirius at the interment . Well I figure out why . The reason ? Simple . He hates us , all the family , including me , naturally . Otherwise, that would not be fair . So it seems appropriate to me that he isn't here . Nevertheless , in my mind , I imagine that he would come . I know that sound crazy and completely nonsense . Perhaps I am utterly irrational due to the loss of Father but I know deep inside of me that it's a lie .

I just want to see my brother one last time . I miss him .

The heavy rain fall continuously . I feel tired and dizzy . I will just lean against Father's gravestone .

" Reggie ?" says a familiar voice suddenly , shaking me gently as my vision clarifies and permits me to recognize him . His black hair is always a mess . He is casually dress , no suit , no tie anything which indicate that he went to visit his dead Father , he is on his knee right next to me , his silver eyes staring at me full of worry .

"-Sirius ? What time is it ?" I finally ask , cutting the silence between us . I see him sorting a golden pocket watch from his cloak . I wonder if it the one I gave him for Christmas during his first year at Hogwarts . I remember his smile and his happiness when he unwrapped the little white box .

"-Around eighteen's o clock . What do you do here ?"

Then , I realized what I've done . I slept in a cemetery alone . I think I'm probably scared of myself right now .I'm probably one of the weirdest person on this planet . How can I manage to do that ? Anyway , never mind .

"-I guess I have just been sleeping here." I respond my voice still low due to the tiredness . Sirius frowns and gives me an interrogating look .

"-In the gravestone ?"

-Well , I was very tired due to the funeral and...well whatever . Why are you here ?

-I... come to visit Father's tomb... I , he sighs heavily before adding , honestly, I don't want to come . But James Mother forced me to .Because you know , Orion is my father and a son should , at least, see his father's grave . So she ordered James to drive me here who said that he will wait until I'm done . So I would just want to walk on the cemetery randomly for a few minutes but then I saw someone laid on the ground all alone , so I decided to going to see ."

I didn't believe what I heard . James Potter ? Again that Gryffindor's jerk ? Why does the Potters interfere ? It's a family business ! Ah sorry , I forgot , he is a part of Sirius favorite's family . He is Sirius favorite brother after all .This prat ! I totally dislike him . But on the other hand , he is , more likely his mother , is the reason why Sirius came so... I will forgive him for that .

"-Why didn't you kill me during my sleep ? You know because of the Death Eater and Voldemort's stuff ?" I demanded eventually .

-Well... You know what , Reg ? I don't know . My bad ! I waste a chance to kill my idiot brother ! Nonetheless , on second thought , killing you in front of Father's grave and let his ghost haunt me for the rest of my life... Argh . That would be awful ." His remark makes us chuckle slightly . I can imagine too well the ghost of Father wander the street and follow Sirius in order to kick his ass with his ghostly powers .

"So Reg...How are you ?" He questions as he sits next to me on the cold and wet cobblestones .

-Seriously ? How do you think am I ? " I retorted .

-Well... hum... Sad ? I'm sorry . My condolences for you ." He tells me with a sad look as he puts his hand on my shoulder .

-Same for you ." I mutter .

It's really strange . This whole situation I mean . To begin with , Sirius and I , we aren't close , and we don't speak with each other unless we argue with each other or even once , trying to kill each other . And right now , I feel like his usual hatred toward me has just vanished . Secondly ,we are brothers at our father's funeral but neither of us are sad .

"-Sirius , can I ask you a question ?

-Of course , what is it ?

-What do you think about Father's death ?

-Honestly ? Nothing . I am not sad but I am not happy either . Strangely , it's mean nothing for me .

-Really ? I thought that you would dance on his grave with a devilish smirk .

-I'm not that evil, you know and I'm also confused that I don't feel any positive feelings too .

-I feel the same way toward him...

-Seriously ? Regulus Arcturus Black , little king and Daddy's favorite , you are not sad ?" he comments , I decide to ignore his teasing and explain .

"-I want to . I really want to be sad and all but I just can't. Does that make me a bad person ?

-You're a Death Eater , so as a consequence you are rotten to the core." He declares pulling up my sleeve and discovering the dark mark inked on my inner-left forearm .

-It's really ugly . Don't you think ?" I ask in a light tone . He ruffles his hair and let a huge sigh before articulates .

-Reg , it shouldn't have to be like this .

-But it does Siri . We have to accept that ." He wants to tell me something but finally stays silent , looking to Father's grave and looking at his pocket watch, and then he stands up suddenly .

"-James ! He exclaims, I forgot him ! He would probably kill me !" Sirius walks up quickly in direction of the tiny parking at the exit of the cemetery .

"-Are you leaving already ?" I ask , not wanting to end this moment with my brother .

-Yeah... I told you earlier that James wait for me , so I wouldn't let him wait too long .It was great to see you again ! Goodbye, Reggie !"

I realize then , that , I can't take out the vision of my dead father laid in the coffin with roses laid on him and I couldn't stop myself to imagine my brother instead of him . Dead , pale and lackluster . But I don't want that . I want to protect all of them .No , I want to protect Sirius . I will do anything that I could to protect him .

I have changed my mind nearly a dozen times before I could finally make a definitely choice . So Tomorrow . Tomorrow , I will execute my plan and steal the Dark Lord's Horcruxe and I know for sure that it would not end up happily . It's certainly the last time I see my stupid brother . I need to tell him something .

"- Wait ! Sirius ! I-"

 _I love you_

The two words couldn't reach my lips . I can't say that . I am really a coward .

"-Be safe Sirius." I tell him with the largest and sweetest smile that I could afford .

 _I mean it ._


End file.
